[BROKEN EXCERPT FROM CHAPTER 1: THE PHANTOM SHIELD]
I AM MADE OF PAIN.
THE PAIN WILL DISAPPEAR WHEN I DISAPPEAR.
I [FEEL AS IF I] AM MY OWN GHOST...
NOT KNOWING MY TRUE SELF, I HAVE TO PUT ON THE SKIN OF A PERSON TO BECOME A PERSON.
NOT KNOWING HOW TO BECOME A PERSON, I PUT ON CLOTHING TO BE MADE REFERENCE TO; TO BECOME SOMEONE.
EXCLUDED, ISOLATED FROM THE CITY, FROM THE SOCIETY... LIVING AN UNREAL REALITY...
MIGHT AS WELL CLOTHE MYSELF IN [THE SKIN OF A NONCHALANT ONLOOKER] TO PROTECT MYSELF.
WORTHLESS SENTIMENTALITY.
THE PAIN WILL DISAPPEAR WHEN I DISAPPEAR.
I [FEEL AS IF I] AM MY OWN GHOST...
NOT KNOWING MY TRUE SELF, I HAVE TO PUT ON THE SKIN OF A PERSON TO BECOME A PERSON.
NOT KNOWING HOW TO BECOME A PERSON, I PUT ON CLOTHING TO BE MADE REFERENCE TO; TO BECOME SOMEONE.
EXCLUDED, ISOLATED FROM THE CITY, FROM THE SOCIETY... LIVING AN UNREAL REALITY...
MIGHT AS WELL CLOTHE MYSELF IN [THE SKIN OF A NONCHALANT ONLOOKER] TO PROTECT MYSELF.
WORTHLESS SENTIMENTALITY.
~Akaneshinchi Hanaya Sange
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| Self-portrait with Masks (detail), 1899, Menard Art Museum, Komaki City, Japan By James Ensor. |
